One year ago today.... we were filled with so much gratitude & love! Before we even pulled in the parking lot, we saw good family friends. We had just got out of our car; I was smiling ear to ear & Cody was choking up. I was shaking my head saying don't start yet, oh babe, we're good! (I didn't want to start crying and we really wanted this to be a day of JOY)! We wish everyone could feel or know how loved they truly are, though we don't want anyone to experience cancer. Thank you so much to the many friends, family, sports teams, community & even some seemingly strangers for coming together in an effort to support our family. What a blessing it was to have so many offer up their time, talents & service in our behalf. What a true gift it has been to not stress over the financial burdens that could have beset us. Instead, shed many tears of joy as we've lovingly shared about the Fund Run & Silent Auction offered in our behalf. To those friends & family members who snapped into action of what they could do to help our family. It was overwhelming in so many ways. We are eternally grateful to each of you, please know this.
We have learned so much!
It still seams surreal at times. We spent those 8 days in the hospital. Waiting, testing, waiting some more all to find out towards the end of that week that we were diagnosed with stage 4 non-small cell lung cancer & a hefty prognosis. It was tough, but was also accompanied with a peace. There was a feeling of what do we need to do? What can we do? Part of me felt like what do we need to do to take care of this? My husband with a medical background was more under the heavy feeling of what can we do??? We can't do anything. It is a terminal cancer by nature. We do believe in miracles. We have prayed & hoped for a miracle. As we know, many of you have with us. We at times feel like we are doing what we can to buy as much time in this life as we can together. Other times we are hoping for a miracle of total healing. The best place to be in where we keep that eternal perspective. Where we trust that our Heavenly Father is there. He hears our prayers. He also knows what we don't know & wants what is best for us. We have met a few people who have had family members that had a similar cancer but tested for a different gene typing. They were able to be somewhat active as I am until the cancer took them. If that is the case; we still feel blessed to be able to live life at this time.
I sat with our 6 year old 2 days ago after she had asked questions about herself, questions about me, questions about us, then questions about her again. She was trying to make sense of it all & where things fit in her world, what it meant for her. She crossed the room and sat with me for 15-20 minutes as we cried. Telling me she didn't want me to go any where. That she always wanted me with her. I've told her several times; I always will be! If I'm not with you right here, I will be with you in spirit and right here in your heart. I explained to her, some Mommys don't get to tell their kiddos goodbye, explain what they believe or answer questions & love on them because their death may be more sudden. We get the chance to do that & for that we are blessed. Our little guy just got carried down by Cody, because he wanted to be by me and fell asleep in our bed. We enjoy these sweet moments. There are still moments I need to work on. More than I would like to count. But, I will work on those. We are counting blessings.
Cody & I were talking and we cannot believe how fast the year has gone by. We pray there are many more. We don't know what the God has in store for us. We are trusting in His plan. We are grateful for those things we are learning and even more so for those things we know to be true. We know that families can be together forever.
We are grateful for each of you. We hope you know how much we love & appreciate you!
We have learned so much!
It still seams surreal at times. We spent those 8 days in the hospital. Waiting, testing, waiting some more all to find out towards the end of that week that we were diagnosed with stage 4 non-small cell lung cancer & a hefty prognosis. It was tough, but was also accompanied with a peace. There was a feeling of what do we need to do? What can we do? Part of me felt like what do we need to do to take care of this? My husband with a medical background was more under the heavy feeling of what can we do??? We can't do anything. It is a terminal cancer by nature. We do believe in miracles. We have prayed & hoped for a miracle. As we know, many of you have with us. We at times feel like we are doing what we can to buy as much time in this life as we can together. Other times we are hoping for a miracle of total healing. The best place to be in where we keep that eternal perspective. Where we trust that our Heavenly Father is there. He hears our prayers. He also knows what we don't know & wants what is best for us. We have met a few people who have had family members that had a similar cancer but tested for a different gene typing. They were able to be somewhat active as I am until the cancer took them. If that is the case; we still feel blessed to be able to live life at this time.
I sat with our 6 year old 2 days ago after she had asked questions about herself, questions about me, questions about us, then questions about her again. She was trying to make sense of it all & where things fit in her world, what it meant for her. She crossed the room and sat with me for 15-20 minutes as we cried. Telling me she didn't want me to go any where. That she always wanted me with her. I've told her several times; I always will be! If I'm not with you right here, I will be with you in spirit and right here in your heart. I explained to her, some Mommys don't get to tell their kiddos goodbye, explain what they believe or answer questions & love on them because their death may be more sudden. We get the chance to do that & for that we are blessed. Our little guy just got carried down by Cody, because he wanted to be by me and fell asleep in our bed. We enjoy these sweet moments. There are still moments I need to work on. More than I would like to count. But, I will work on those. We are counting blessings.
Cody & I were talking and we cannot believe how fast the year has gone by. We pray there are many more. We don't know what the God has in store for us. We are trusting in His plan. We are grateful for those things we are learning and even more so for those things we know to be true. We know that families can be together forever.
We are grateful for each of you. We hope you know how much we love & appreciate you!
(The following is written by Samuel Petersen)
My cousin, Brooke Ellefsen's words are powerful! As I am writing this book and finding ways to envelop her family's personality, traits, and characteristics into this story...I am impressed with her wisdom. The essence of her and her family is a beacon for all of us to follow. Implementing real people into a fictional story has been challenging, yet exciting. I know that I am doing this to honor the legacy Brooke and Cody have built. I am at a major transition point in the storyline and I have struggled over the past week and a half to express that properly.
At these moments, I have been buoyed by the strength of others, especially Brooke and her family. In a moment of internal turmoil with the book and my purpose in writing it, Brooke sent me a series of family pictures in a text...no words were written...just the pictures. It was past midnight and I was staring at my screen. The blinking cursor was awaiting the tap of my finger...blank pages beckoning to be filled with creativity and expression in a structured form. A ticking clock reminding me of time I cannot spare...a deadline blossoming like a sunrise on the horizon. Never in my life, have I written so much in such a short amount of time. Ten hours might as well be a blink as I think, ponder, imagine, type, research, create, re-read, structure, contemplate, edit, hope, believe, trust, push through, and discover the value of life.
Those pictures she sent were pixelated morsels of inspiration in an articulacy vexing time. This book is a marathon, not a sprint! Every day I write I win a battle; however, a war is made up of many battles. Over the past week, I've lost a few battles, but that doesn't mean I won't win the war. It was near the end of July 2017 when I felt prompted to write a book for my cousin. That was only the initial idea...from that moment a lot has happened. I sent her a copy of one of my manuscripts and then I asked her permission to do this. If I didn't have her blessing, I wasn't going to proceed. Let me be as clear as I can...I'm not someone who puts themselves out there! In my small world, I get noticed because I'm 6'10, but often it is forced upon me as I have learned to embrace it.
I am only doing this because I felt it on a spiritual level! I only pursued this because I felt that it was something I was supposed to do! Once the vision burrowed into my mind, there was no turning back. Don't get me wrong, I love writing and trying to help others, but offering to write a book for a loved one battling cancer was definitely going out of my comfort zone. As I reflect, there are several reasons for my decision...
1) Brooke is a beloved family member and she always brings joy to those around her. I wanted to try and do something to honor her legacy...what better way than becoming a character in a book.
2) Cancer is cruel! At some point, we all die and that is a fact; however, when cancer threatens to take the life of a young, spirited, amazing individual, WE NEED TO FIND A CURE! Through, loose, personal empirical research, it seems like more young women, who have never smoked, are being diagnosed with lung cancer...WHY? Is it radon? Is it environmental? What can we do? During my writing, I wanted to take time to understand...
3) Literacy is crucial to the success of the next generation! I was blessed with the opportunity to speak to a group of Fourth graders last June (2016). That event inspired me in ways I have not fully realized or comprehended. I saw the power of imagination and the ability to express yourself. As I did an experiment with milk, food coloring, and dish soap...as I read to them, as my friend, artist, and illustrator Kyle Larson spoke to them about art...as we participated in fun literacy activities, I saw them light up with the joy of learning. As they connected their imagination and creativity, with the ability of personal expression, it was truly magical.
4) Don't be afraid to do something special for someone! Use your talent to bless the life of another. It can be scary to share it...but take a leap of faith and just do it...regardless of the outcome.
I know I will not only finish this book, but it will be amazing! I'm confident it will be something Brooke and her family can cherish for generations to come. I'm not a polished, accomplished author by any stretch of the imagination. With Brooke's Book, I am pushing myself to untested limits. The reason I'm confident in the face of my neophyte...because this emanates from my soul. A passion polished by heart and accomplished through love. It is the quintessence of me and what I feel inside! Like a volcano erupting, I could not bottle in the crux of my life.
I want to thank Brooke and her family for allowing me to do this for them!
I must get back to the book...stay tuned for more updates...
Thank you for joining in this journey and remember to do something special for someone you love!
Samuel Petersen
#brookesbook #dosomethingspecial #90daystowriteabook #readwrite #theearthstars #findthecure
No comments:
Post a Comment